Thursday, May 28, 2020

This Is My Husband

This is my husband.

He is a good looking, extroverted, laid back, and friendly guy.
He's a Godly man of good character.
He's a loving and faithful husband; a generous lover, a great lay.
He's a patient, fun, and gentle father of five.
He is an imaginative and hilarious story teller.
He is ambitious and strong, an amazing provider.
He's a hard-working man of integrity.
He's an Air Force veteran and a proud, upstanding American citizen.

He shops at all the same places as everyone else.
He fills up at the same gas stations everyone else does.
He innocently walks the same streets everyone else walks.
He drives on all the same roads as everyone else drives on.
He makes all the same kind of mistakes everyone else makes from time to time.

But he is not treated the same as everyone is treated at all times.

He's been avoided walking down grocery aisles and blatantly ignored by a chatty cashier who engaged happily with every white customer before and after him, but spoke not a word to him apart from telling him his total.
He's watched people in the gym make obscene, unmistakable animal jokes about him as he works out.
He's been asked, "Did you have all these kids with the same woman?" as if it was anyone's business but ours.
He's had people call him Obama because he's very well spoken... for a black man.
He's been told, "Our entrees start at $50." as we walked into an upscale restaurant for our anniversary dinner.
He's been told by work colleagues in the past that his name was "too white." They gave him a more appropriate, "black" name that he was referred to as for the next two years.
He's listened to heinous, racial slurs dropped casually on work sites. But don't worry, they apologized to him afterwards. They would never want to offend him.

These are just a few of the blatant things he's experienced. This does not mention the quiet things done in the dark; the things he's not allowed to assume are related to the color of his skin even though they probably are.
And these are mild, compared to the treatment others have received.
Turn on the news and see for yourself.

We're doing something wrong.
Color exists. And it's beautiful.
But racism exists, too. And it's ugly.
Let's be better.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. --MLK


  1. I love this post. Your transparent heart of sharing your families reality hit home. Being a black woman raising four biracial children I have had to take the lead in our family and explain to my kids the harsh reality of our world. It’s heartbreaking to see that light dim in their eyes when they realize people will treat them different based on their skin tone and not their heart. Thank you for this beautiful post.

  2. This is beautiful! Thank you for being open to sharing it.